What is ‘Once Upon A Time In Vancouver’?

What is this space and what am I hoping to do with it?

This is a question that’s been on my mind for as long as I’ve ever wanted to start a blog of my own. As my years of self-doubt and questioning flew by, the number of blogs, social media accounts and generally all methods of communicating one’s interests and thoughts grew by thousands. It seemed like everyone out there was creating. Putting pen to paper — or fingers to keyboard — and I was here. Stuck. What could I possibly add to this plethora of information that frankly didn’t already exist; and what’s more, was it even important? Was any of it important? Why are people so obsessed with this stuff? I mean, was it even relevant or necessary to our lives? Who cares about so and so’s opinion on blah blah blah?! Like really! The world is bad enough — confusing enough — without a million different voices on the internet telling you how to live your life more efficiently in 5 simple steps or which foods to eat to reduce bloating before a night out. It all began to seem so shallow, and kind of cringe-y to me. Too many voices. Most of them contradictory or controversial. Why did they matter? Were they pertinent to the betterment of our lives?

This conversation was growing in my mind as I was simultaneously seeking adventure and publishing images to Instagram. Ahhh, Instagram. This weird little app on my phone was causing me so much joy. I was learning so much about the places of the world and its people. But not only that, I was learning so much about my own city, Vancouver. Now, growing up in Surrey (a 40-ish minute drive away), Vancouver was the thing that I idolized. It was so much more than a place to me. The mountains, lakes and forests that make it famous were all great, but it was how all of that worked together to create a sense of freshness. A lightness to my quality of life. And that’s what it was. I dreamed — no, I marveled — at how beautiful it all was. And it was right there: my backyard (give or take a few kilometres). As a kid, every time my family would stuff ourselves in the car and drive to Vancouver — perhaps for a little SeaBus excursion to North Vancouver in the summer, or a chilly walk along the decorated windows of Canada Place around Christmastime — my heart would just race. My eyes were lit up the whole time, I kid you not! Keep in mind that, if my memory serves me right, it would just about always rain whenever we went to Vancouver. But see, the gloomy clouds or the drenched bottoms of my jeans didn’t bother me enough to hate this well-known characteristic of this city. People think of Vancouver, or the Pacific Northwest in general, and imagine it’s some sort of hell that only gets sunshine once in a blue moon. And while that may be the case at times, I could not care less! To me, this means a year-long feeling of cosy. And who doesn’t love that?

So, when I upgraded my crappy Blackberry to an iPhone in the Autumn of 2012, the first app I downloaded was Instagram. I wasn’t really sure of what it was exactly, but I knew it had something to do with pictures. Around this time, too, I had begun using my camera a lot more. This new-ish camera of mine was nothing fancy but it was a step up from the much older, family camera. The quality was actually HD; what a treat! As my experimentation with photography was growing into something more of a passion, my addiction to Instagram was blossoming too. I say addiction because I was absolutely obsessed with scrolling through all of the images out there. And yes, in 2012, not every photograph was as perfected and curated as is the case now, but I felt that I was becoming aware of so much creatively. People were posting these stunning locations from their corners of the world, and I was learning the importance of angles and light. All these photography terms that I hadn’t really considered while photographing on my own — yet was internally aware of while trying to capture something that looked beautiful — were now all more at the forefront of my mind. I now had concrete things to look for when I was shooting. It made the photographic playground that I was running around on that much more purposeful. And so you know, I still shoot with that same camera today. It doesn’t allow me to tap into all of the things I want to pursue creatively, but it has been my trusty companion. It has allowed me years of just simply trying, and for that, I am thankful.

Well, then. How does any of this relate to my internal struggle with starting a blog? I guess it comes down to passion, and further, another struggle to be okay with wanting to pursue multiple passions. See, I, well… I have a lot of them.

Each — be it cooking, baking, photography, interior decorating, travel, etc. — is so important to me that they pull me in different directions. A world that already beats down on you when pursuing a passion becomes even more difficult after having solidified it in your mind that you have already set in stone your “passion path”. My Instagram was all nature, with the occasional city shot. Yet, as I was experimenting more in the kitchen I found myself wanting to share this off-camera side of me too. And possibly put it on camera. At this time #foodgrams were becoming refined: better lit, better styled, and so damn artistic. I wanted in too! But I had also cultivated my identity of ‘Once Upon A Time In Vancouver’ as being so based on the beauty of the world, and not the other parts of me that make me whole. Including the parts that felt they had more to show the world than just a highly edited picture. Now, I will spare you the full struggle of how I found myself finally able to inject more of my personal thoughts and feelings on my Instagram, but just know that this was a very difficult thing for me to do. Why would I ruin a beautiful post of a waterfall with my thoughts about ‘x’? Did anyone even care? More importantly, was the shy, anxious and unable-to-form-a-cohesive-verbal-or-written-opinion Navroop up to the task of sharing her feelings with complete strangers? For a long time the answer was ‘NO’.  A big, fat, capitalized, bolded ‘no’. Internally, though, I felt that my thoughts were unique. And thankfully, as I journeyed through my liberal arts degree during the same time as this silly Instagram struggle, I was cultivating my voice and seeing it as valid. What a feeling to view the inner workings of your mind as imperative to your own being, right?

Though I can’t say the self-doubt of voicing my opinion in basically any aspect of my life doesn’t still creep up on me, I will say that this struggle has brought us to right now. Here I sit, months deep in learning how to create a website on my own — with my trusty side-kick, Google, of course. Endless nights of trying to adjust the fonts on this darn thing (I’m still somewhat unsuccessful), but I am ready. No more excuses. The time for fidgeting with technical settings that I don’t understand is past me. It’s time to trust that these details will soon fall in place. The time I’ve put into both ruminating over my capacity to do this, as well as that spent on actually making a tangible, running site is more than enough to finally bite the bullet . . . And as for the question of adding another voice to the millions already out there on the internet? Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that the conversations I’ve had with myself that prevented me from living my passions out loud are some that several people have had. Maybe even you? To that, I say: ALL AROUND ARE WONDROUS MOMENTS ON A JOURNEY TO FIND US. It is up to us to let them in, and to live them out.

Ideas, like fire, are within me, darling. Won’t you join me on this journey ahead?